CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. - A little girl in Heidi braids sat on her father's knee in a hotel lobby, hesitating before answering his question.
"How do you feel about what I do?" Stan Caldwell asked.
"Um," replied Haley Caldwell, 9. "I'm glad I have a dad who will do this, but when this happens, I wish you didn't have this job."
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| Stan Caldwell, of Tupelo, Miss., greets daughter, Gracie, during a lunch break. Part of his war preparation has been to secure as much time as possible with his family. He leaves from Fort Campbell, Ky., for Kuwait. |
Soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division, at Ft. Campbell, Ky., prepare for their flight to the Persian Gulf. More than 20,000 troops from the 101st are being sent. |
Somewhere in Kuwait is a big, steel trunk the Army shipped, filled with what Caldwell figured he'd need. But his Tupelo, Miss., family gave him more as they prepared to send him off to war today.
A slumber party prayer. A grandfather's Bible. The brush of a 7-month-old's palm across his face.
And the steeled, if tearful, support of a wife, three children and two parents.
Throughout this city this week, wives shopped with their husbands for last-minute items like baby wipes and granola bars; the sniffling of weeping family members mingled with the sound of clattering dishes at Shoney's, and soldiers barely out of their teens got tattoos and marriage
licenses before heading to the desert.
Caldwell, 34, a helicopter pilot with the Mississippi National Guard, is among thousands leaving nearby Fort Campbell, Ky., for Kuwait.
Nearly every day for the past few weeks, planes from the 101st Airborne Division have spirited away their human cargo from families promising letters, care packages and prayers.
Today, it's Caldwell's turn, and, today, the prospect of war will radically alter one more family's life.
In this family is a father who retired from the same Guard unit his son is in just two months before it was deployed, one who wishes he could trade places with his son.
In this family is a mother whose father died when his B17 went down during World War II, a mother who tearfully presented her war-bound son a pocket-size New Testament her father got from a Sunday School teacher in 1933.
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| The Bible of his grandfather, a B17 Tail gunner killed in World War II, will be with Caldwell in Kuwait. |
Robert Caldwell, recently retired as a National Guard helicopter pilot, feels he should be going in son Stan's place. |
And in this family are a wife who, once the plane lifts off, will start planning her husband's welcome home party, a son who will start a "hero's wall" at his school, a daughter who will miss shooting hoops with her dad and a baby whose father likely won't see her first steps.
As he boards that plane, Caldwell will take a photo album with pictures of all of them, plus a mutt named Sadie and a huge cat named Binx. A devout Baptist, he'll take a medal of the Virgin Mary given by a Catholic friend.
And, whatever happens, he'll take a belief he's doing something to make his family and country safer.
"In the big picture, even if something happens to me, I know we'll be successful in our task if we can prevent anything from happening to my family or to the people of my country," he said.
"If we can do that, then, yes, it will be worth it."
His parents, Robert Caldwell, who flies medical helicopters in Memphis, and Adrian Caldwell, both 60, describe the younger of their two sons as the outgoing one, the one who as a teenager jokingly threatened to make selling Polo shirts his calling.
The other, Robert, commands a maintenance unit at a Navy base in Jacksonville, Fla.
During his last hours with his family, Caldwell's mood varied as the Army changed departure schedules.
His personal items packed and the Kiowa Warrior helicopters he flies already overseas, Caldwell attended briefings and spent time with his parents, wife Ranae, 31, son Taylor, 11, daughter Haley and 7-month-old Gracie.
Today is the day the family has dreaded since Caldwell was deployed last month.
Unlike the anonymous departures urban Guard members experience, this time more than 1,000 showed up at the Tupelo armory to see the 22 pilots off.
Among them were 80 of Caldwell's friends and family.
Since then, his family has received cards, gifts, babysitting offers and inclusion on prayer lists across the region.
Friends cry when they see the family, school counselors console the children.
And, at 2:30 a.m. during a friend's slumber party two weeks ago, Haley's friends noticed she seemed sad, so they interrupted their giggling to join hands in prayer.
The Caldwells agreed to let a reporter and photographer share their final stateside days together.
It's important, they thought, that those without family in the military understand what they're experiencing.
"It's important just so they know the sacrifices these people are making," Ranae Caldwell said.
"They're leaving their children and their daily routines and the comforts of home to go to the des ert.
"I don't think most people think about it or appreciate it as they should."
"And I don't think people know what the children go through," added Taylor. "And they need to respect that."
As the group ate fajitas and pizza for lunch Thursday, Gracie's dad played with her, and other patrons smiled at her squeals.
Caldwell left the base briefly to meet the family at Applebee's and announced quietly that, finally, he knew for sure when he was leaving.
At the other end of the table, his father put his head in his hands.
"I'm doing terrible," he said. "I have such disbelief that this is really happening. It's hard to accept. When I see him, I see my little boy, but I also see a damned fine helicopter pilot."
As he talked, Stan Caldwell read Haley's composition entitled "The Person I Admire." It was about him.
"The most important thing I've learned from him is to look at the good in people and situations," she wrote.
"That's really good," Caldwell told her, dabbing his eye.
That night, the family gathered in the hotel lobby and wished fellow Mississippi Guard pilot David Bledsoe of Collierville well as he prepared to leave.
Bledsoe, 54, is a decorated Vietnam veteran who never seriously thought he'd be called to combat again.
Also leaving Friday were Michael Purvis of Cordova and Mark Gardner of Oxford, Miss. On Thursday, Tupelo Guard unit members Greg Timmons, of Tupelo, and Memphis's Dennis Osborne left.
After saying goodbye to Bledsoe, the Caldwells were both serious and light as they talked of the separation.
"When I'm over there I'll be looking at my watch thinking they're getting home from school now, wondering if they're out playing and just wishing I was there," Stan Caldwell said.
"At least you'll know what we're doing," his wife replied.
Taylor said he'll think of his dad when he looks at the watch he got for Christmas, and Haley had an idea.
"I think I'll have an imaginary friend," she said with a laugh. "When I pour a glass of milk, I'll pour another one for my dad."
In a few months, the family, minus Stan, will load up the Ford Expedition and head for Florida, where they'll join Robert for a trip to Disney World.
In the meantime, Ranae will continue the family tradition of popping popcorn, starting a fire, turning off the living room lights and watching a movie with her kids.
Or maybe the video Stan made of himself talking to them just before leaving.
"I asked him to," Ranae explained. "So that when I'm really missing him bad, I could turn it on and just see him and hear him."
Laura Coleman Noeth
noeth@gomemphis.com
March 1, 2003
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